Thursday, February 21, 2013

Oscar

This Oscar Pistorius story is all a bit strange, isn't it?  There must definitely be more to it.  He seemed so happy just the other day, he had such a spring in his step…

Yes, it was only minutes after Oscar Pistorius’s arrest that the jokes began … all taking the Pistorius.

His lawyer's got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentine's Day he had to take her out.

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility.  He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.

blade

Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say he’s a front runner  at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.

Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentine's Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.

New Valentine’s Day card: “Roses are red, violets are glorious.  Never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.”

Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.

Looks like he has an expensive lawyer. I hope he can foot the bill.

Otherwise, the Oscar goes to........................Jail !!

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder................ Footprints!

She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released... Bam! President of South Africa. That's how it works over there, right?

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able-bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

Surely Oscar Pistorius isn't the first man to wake up legless during Valentine's night, then shoot all over his partner whilst imagining she's somebody else?

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes " Just  Don't Do It."

Hollywood are doing his life story; it's now going to be called Blade Gunner.

If found guilty he's gonna have to take it on the shin.

And finally,

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!

This means you.

PS: So what’s wrong with cheap, dirty jokes. I never said I was tasteful.  And on some stories, you have to go out on a limb….

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Paul said...

He will probably get e bail with an ankle bracelet.

2/21/2013 11:03:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nah Paul. He'll never get bail. I hear that the prosecution is opposing bail on grounds that Pistorius will likely leg it.

Dave Mann

2/21/2013 05:39:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

... but there again, he MIGHT be granted bail, coz up till now he's never put a foot wrong....

Dave Mann (again)

2/21/2013 05:42:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was surprised to read that he doesn't have much support from his family though. His mother reckons "a good dose of jail time will teach him to toe the line".

Dave Mann(again)

2/21/2013 05:48:00 pm  
Anonymous Paul said...

I heard Joe Karem is on his way over there to help him out

2/21/2013 11:07:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look, guys, I think you should all back off and give Mr Pistorius a break! I mean to say, doesn't everybody when they get up for a pee in the middle of the night loose off a few rounds into the bathroom door, just to clear the room before they use it? Especially if it is locked. That's a dead giveaway that there's an intruder in the house, surely?

Seriously. I don't think the prosecution has a leg to stand on with this one, and it'll be Joe Public who foots the bill for an unreasonable prosecution which doesn't have a show.

2/22/2013 03:58:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meh. Never,ever call Oscar a tripod.

Amit Cim

2/28/2013 11:19:00 pm  

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